by Kate
Father, I want to know Thee, but my cowardly heart fears to give up its toys. I cannot part with them without inward bleeding, and I do not try to hide from Thee the terror of the parting. I come trembling, but I do come. Please root from my heart all those things which I have cherished so long and which have become a very part of my living self, so that Thou mayest enter and dwell there without a rival. Then shalt Thou make the place of Thy feet glorious. Then shall my heart have no need of the sun to shine in it, for Thyself wilt be the light of it, and there shall be no night there. In Jesus' name, Amen.
-A.W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God
I was struck by Tozer's first line - "My cowardly heart fears to give up its toys." - and the idea of being terrified to part with them. I thought of all the things in my life that I hold on to so tightly because they provide a distraction, an escape, or a superficial thrill. My cowardly heart believes that I need these items/food/movies/phone apps to be happy. But often they only serve to bring me down. The cost of these "toys" is too high. Too much money, too much time, too much distraction from my values and my community and my God. As Tozer says, when you let go of the toys, your heart will shine from the light within.
Today I am thankful for Tozer's words that articulate the prayer I need to pray, but one I am often too cowardly to express.
The power of the small amount.