by Kate
Years ago, my mom gave me this framed quote (see above).
"Love is found in the things we've given up
More than in the things that we have kept."
-Rich Mullins
I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I didn't really get the quote at first, but I put it on my bedside table where I'd see it every day. It's a song lyric from early CCM artist Rich Mullins, from the song "What Susan Said." I kept considering the quote literally; trying to figure out how there was more love in the items I donated to the thrift store than in the stuff still on my shelves. Then, finally, the real meaning clicked into place.
I had been thinking about the effects of my expectations on myself and others and I realized that when I gave up my expectations there was suddenly so much room in my mind and in my feelings to love others in the way that was best for them. I began to see this in action all over the place. When I dial back my own self-interestedness, there is so much space for flourishing. Even something as simple as thinking to myself "what small thing can I do to set a positive tone in our home?" instead of focusing on my slight grouchiness from staring at a computer screen all day.
Of course, in a roundabout way this does have to do with physical de-cluttering like I originally thought. As I focus on our values of simplicity and generosity it becomes clear that holding on so tightly to possessions, old ways of thinking, negative self-talk, or a rigid understanding of personal space just makes my hands hurt and my heart grumpy. But giving up a stranglehold on possessions and selfish introspection creates so much space for love. And not the ooey gooey candy hearts love (although I will accept chocolate caramels anytime, thanks), but that love where you connect on a real level with another person, feel the peace of God (because you have let go of that which unsettles you), and are delighted by joy and laughter. Parenthood is another great example of this - giving up autonomy, time, and sleep to open your life to a new kind of love.
Of course, this has become blatantly obvious in past months, as every one of us has given up seeing our family, friends, co-workers, and communities in order to show our love and care in a time of social distancing and self-isolation. For those of us in non-critical jobs, giving up physical presence is the greatest act of love we can perform right now.
This quote has helped me embrace hardships (whether big or small) and teaches me everyday to think about others. In this strange and unusual time, that is a blessing.
What quotes or ideas are inspiring you these days?
The power of the small amount.